I went on Safari yesterday. Big game hunting in Africa! Mostly Wildebeest, but really any animal foolish enough to wander by. I came equipped with a green plastic rifle that hardly seemed adequate for the task and a guide that kept yelling, "RELOAD! RELOAD!"
I was invited on this hunt by a friend that somehow managed to to kill, with the same green plastic rifle, I might add, 36 bulls to my 6 and... an assortment of zebras, elephants, hyenas, flamingos, lemurs and a variety of big cats, coconuts and shrunken heads.
In my defense, I probably would have done much better if the dumb stupid wildebeests hadn't been running around in circles and hiding behind trees and cows!
I suggested that perhaps next time she just give me 50¢ and I'd just bend over to let her kick my ass and spare me the humiliation, spare me the agony of defeat.
Anyhow, the result of this horrifying debacle was that I dreamed that there was an elephant in my back yard.
It wasn't a large elephant, by elephant standards, but every time I left the house it would get bigger and bigger and madder and madder, stomping its big elephant feet and trumpeting its big elephant nose. It soon became
quite frightening so my mother, who oddly enough was much younger than I, so we jumped into the struggle buggy and made our escape.
